November 6, 2020

We Can Be Funny. Or Trusted!

There are comedians who seem to do it effortlessly.

They capture our everyday antics in such a way…
That they help us to see how very, very funny – no, ludicrous – we can be.

And we scream with delight.
Tears streaming.
Because we recognise the ridiculous in our supposedly typical selves.

They’re masters – scientists – at observing ‘normal’ behaviour.
They strip away the posing, The acting. The ‘professionalism’.
Revealing us to ourselves.

And that self is often worthy of laughter.


When you’re trying to communicate with an 8 month old grandson.
I have to tell you…
It’s not long before you become ‘“worthy of laughter”
Your behaviour can quickly descend to the ludicrous.
You tend to resort to all sorts of antics to capture – and hold – their attention.

(Rather like some businesses, I’d say)

Yesterday, on a WhatsApp call…
we had to work particularly hard (resorting desperately to favourite songs and manic facial antics)…
to hold the attention of this sleep-deprived child.

He wasn’t impressed.

And- here’s the lesson for today – he kept looking back to the face of his adored Mum…
referring to his intimate knowledge of her features and moods.
His worried eyes asking,
“Are they safe to talk to today? Because they seem a bit bonkers to me!”

It’s in our nature.
To refer back to what and whom we trust…
when we’re uncertain.
To seek confirmation of our feelings, before we act.

Which is why a steady flow of referred clients – ‘Referrals’ – can be such a powerful element of business.
Because they link Behaviour and Feelings and Trust so satisfyingly.

Our Behaviour. Their Feelings and Trust.

The emotional process almost effortlessly bridging the gap between a Stranger and a Desirable Conversation.

I’ve read and heard so much about ‘How To Increase Client Referrals to Your Business’.
Much of it difficult to substantiate. (That’s code for ‘twaddle’).

Yet, here’s what I’ve gradually come to understand about what’s required to improve this flow of Trust:

‘Being Referable’ is founded far less on techniques and tactics.
On what you say, and how you say it.
Far less on increasing our desperate antics to impress and capture attention.

Because ‘Being Referable’ – as a business or individual – depends far less on What You Do…
And far more on Who You Are and Who You’re Becoming.

Far less about your skilled marketing messages.
Far more about How You Make Me Feel When I Engage With You.

Failing to act on this can leave you relegated to the equivalent of pulling silly faces and singing funny songs.

Grindingly hard work.
And often, it just doesn’t cut the mustard!