October 25, 2019

Tales of Derring Do. And Don’t.

Such a perfectly natural, healthy, activity.
A way for the body to rid itself of toxins and destructive stress created by intense emotions.

We know that. Medically. Logically.
Of course we do.

But we men (and it’s mostly men, isn’t it?) do get woefully embarrassed – even scared – when this ‘natural’ and ‘logical’ happens to us.

Our social survival mechanism kicks in, you see.
Our primal need not to show vulnerability within ‘The Tribe’
So, we panic, as we try to hide our ‘weakness’.
In case we lose our place in the pecking order.
Or an enemy sees that vulnerability as a sign to attack.


Well, there were a few tears in that auditorium, throughout that day. I can tell you.
Men exuding their fair share.

It was the day of the Power Workshop in September.

We were listening to Tribe Members – The Soul Millionaire Tribe, that is – telling their stories.
Their journeys of trial and hope and dreams and fears and unknown territory and resilience and overcoming.
And triumph.

Yes, it might be true that I had coached each of them.
But that wasn’t the point at all. Merely a distraction.

I was glad that I had introduced them as ‘My Heroes’.
For ‘heroic’ was what we were hearing.

Yet, that’s the point I want to concentrate on here.
The fact that as a Coach (In your case an Adviser or Planner)…
I am definitely not the hero of the story.

Nor are you, when working with your clients.

If each client of mine is Frodo, The Ring Bearer…
Then I’m Gandalf. Their guide.

Yes. I’m taking them on a journey to somewhere quite astounding.
Somewhere where they will gain a reward beyond their present capacity to see clearly.
And yes. Just getting there will transform them beyond recognition.

But they’re still The Hero.

The same goes for you and your clients.
In their eyes… you’ll massively reduce your value if you insist on making you the Hero of the story, when working with you.

Yet, I read and listen to the language flourished by firms and businesses and teams.
Online and offline.

And I see that they have this Life Lesson completely back to front.
Each firm waxing lyrical about how magnificent a Hero they are.
Whilst forcing the reader/listener to pay attention to how they became Astonishing Advisers.

“When we started our firm in the 1990’s…
Well, we wore clogs to work…
And Our Sally still worked at t’ mill…”

Meanwhile your reader, your listener. Your prospective client.
Well… They couldn’t give a hoot!


The lesson of the Power Workshop wasn’t lost on some of the delegates.

“Does my communication… my messages… my conversations…
Do those focus attention on
my heroism?

Or can I completely re-script them…
So that the client feels treated as the Hero of the Story.
So that the client understands that working with us is an exciting Journey.
So that the client sees that we – their Guide – have a clear Plan for them to follow.
So that the client recognises “Ah! I See Where You’re Taking Me Now!”

just start doing that with your communication. Your advice.
And you’ll see Tears of Gratitude (I kid you not).

You’ll have Heroes telling the world how YOU changed their lives!