The Girl Who Said “Hello!”

I vividly remember the first time a pretty girl said “Hello, David Scarlett!” to me.

It was in a school corridor.
And I was age 15.

Desperately, gut-wrenchingly shy.
Scared witless of those more confident.

Within seconds after she’d passed by…
tears were streaming down my face.

Why am I so grateful that I can remember that scene… in the busyness of business?

Well… I’ll answer that later.

Moving on a few years…

I first learned how to speak in a small church congregation.
Little more than fifty men, women and children… staring expectantly at me.

I was asked to speak.
And I chose to say “Yes.”

I thought I was going to pass out.
I was sure they could hear my stomach as loudly as any words I was mumbling.

I was then given an assignment to teach teenagers.
They proceeded to tear me apart, limb from limb.
(You know the feeling I’m talking about.)

But their parents were kind to me.
And, with the power of belief and faith fuelling me…
I chose to continue that journey.

Eventually, the congregation I gazed over was 1,000 strong.

And I was loving it!

I came so alive when I stood at the podium…
It was as if being there was as easy as breathing in and out.

Eventually, classes of teenagers and seriously knowledgeable adults…
became a room full of 20 seriously knowledgeable Advisers.

And the day came when church congregations were matched by business conferences of 1,000 +.

Here. Overseas.
Online. In Person.
Wherever.

And I love it!

Every time I sit or stand with those groups and audiences…
I come alive!

Intellectually… emotionally… spiritually…
Parts of me are switched on that otherwise are merely cruising. Waiting.

And so, I’ve found, it is with Leadership.

When I first developed a team of 7, to support my financial planning…
I was a joke!

My rampant desire to win and sell…
to be praised and approved at every turn…
to gain status by stretching to offices in Central London as well as West Sussex…

Caused chaos and exhaustion and misery to my team.
And my family.

But I was so busy with my Referral Generation Strategy…
So busy with me self-worth being patted and stroked by my clients…

I was completely oblivious to the trail of confusion I left behind me.

Eventually, the overstretched pack of ego-founded cards tumbled.
And I was rescued by another firm.

There was where I learned how a leader coaches and nurtures their team.
First.
Before marketing.
Before sales.
Before metrics.

Where I watched a leader teach and develop the next generation of leaders…
Years before he needed to.

Where a leader invested countless hours in 1-2-1 conversations with struggling team members…
Over memorable lunches of egg n chips in City cafés.

Yes, he was clever, insightful, confident, charismatic.
But NONE of that marked his leadership impact on us.

The truth is… he chose to believe in me.
And so, I blossomed.

Not because of the circumstances in which I was born.
Not because of the trauma of childhood.

But because this leader chose to lead…
Rather than spend all of their days wallowing in their own brilliance; their own glory.

I was going to tell you why I’m so grateful for that pretty girl who spoke to me… wasn’t I?

Well, I’m grateful, because that scene taught me this…

Who I am today is not merely a product of Nature.
Nor the mix of Nature + Nurture.

Life has taught me, in often painful ways…
Who I become leans just as heavily on the CHOICES I make.

Nature + Nurture + Choice.

What was my choice?

My choice was to say “Yes”

After the first church invitation to speak.
After teaching countless teenagers.
After the business collapse.
After being coached in leadership.

Many long years later I’m still driven… by a yearning.
A yearning to help brilliant individuals shine their genius on lifting others.

Multiplying their genius.
Not hoarding it.

Whether that be upon those they’ve gathered around them. Their team.
Or those who they have chosen to serve. Their clients

Most of us want to be remembered, don’t we?
To feel our life has meant something.

The beauty is… we can choose that mark we leave on the world.

Learning how to lead.
In business. At home. In our neighbourhood.

Leaving a legacy of folk you’ve made greater than you…

My leader coach has long since retired.
He noticed the me behind the ego.

I sometimes wonder where that pretty girl is today.
The one who noticed a frightened boy.

She’d be a grandmother.
Wrinkles and shadows etched by life.

Perhaps she has carved out a life that’s impressive.
Or simply a deeply loving one.
Ripples in a pond.

She has no idea that I exist.

But that one tiny moment of passing by her teaches me…

Well. What would it teach you?