The Myth of “One Day When”

It’s been an emotional rollercoaster of a month so far.
With life’s fragility tempering any sense of superiority or self-congratulation.

One minute… standing triumphant (and surprised) on the peak of Snowdon.

The next… driving back to find my wife in hospital… crushed by pain and floating in morphine.

One minute… sitting beside a tranquil Welsh lake, asking myself…
“Is This Part of Heaven?”

The next… sending flowers to the (just-widowed) wife of one of our Soul Millionaire Tribe Members.

(Meanwhile communicating with stunned Soul Millionaire colleagues. All of us pondering a financial adviser simply trying his level best to do what was right for his family.)

Such days act like a plunge into a pool of ice-cold water.

They awaken us – not just to our mortality.
But to questioning what is actually important in our doings and frettings and strivings.

Because the one story that I’ve heard myself narrate – and fall foul of – over the years is this…

“ONE DAY WHEN.”

“One Day When… I reach this goal”
“One Day When… we have this many clients”
“One Day When… the business generates this much recurrent revenue.”

And I’ve heard many Advisers, Founders and Leaders say exactly the same thing. To me. To themselves.

But the terrible truth of goals and KPIs and achievements is that we reach them.
And then…

And then nothing!

Because too often we simply slip into the next goal, objective, target…whatever.

And the life we were going to live?

You know…

• The real life of consistent, weekly investment in relationships?
• The life of being with our children in moments they find important?
• The life of regularly dating the person we fell head-over-heels for?
• The life where we have conversations with people we care about… on things which we both find gloriously meaningful and uplifting?
• The life where we would wander mountains and valleys… or dance a wild salsa… or capture that lake at sunset in watercolours?

Well all of that slips too.
It slips us by.

I think that this question goes waaay past the ‘Work/Life Balance’ cliché.

I think this question is about confusing the joy of living…
With the constant, pleasurable adrenalin rush of achieving-more-than-others.

Perhaps of seeking – and gaining – praise and approval.
Praise and approval, sometimes, from someone who no longer cares.

I’m not seeking to diminish wondrous accomplishment and victory…
Or the liberating cry of an unconquerable human spirit.

What I am seeking is to remind myself how easy it is to become entangled in our own tale.

The tale of “One Day When”.

I was well behind the business target I’d set myself when I started my training to clamber up that mountain.

The walking and swimming and rowing and weights and Stairmaster high-stepping in the gym.

The hard graft in our Bee-and-Butterfly garden in the wind and rain of Winter and early Spring.

Counter-intuitively (you already know where I’m going with this, don’t you?)…
it was those daily ‘distractions’ that gave me the emotional fillip to fulfil tasks that were previously draining me.

Carving out priority time to live with joy during today
Helps us to bring a more joyful person to each endeavour tomorrow.

And generating interesting memories right now…
tends to make us that much more interesting.
And endows us with something more worthwhile sharing when we write and podcast and speak and coach.

This month has reminded all of our Soul Millionaire team and Our Tribe…
That “Some Day When” can steal our life away.

I’ll leave you to decide which story you’re telling yourself.

Because the question is seldom
“Do I Recognise the Myth I’m Buying Into?”

The question more often is this…
“Do I Have the Courage to Rewrite the Myth That Is Now Consuming Me?”